Hidayat Esa & Ashila Ahmad
Hidayat Esa & Ashila Ahmad
Preparing our wedding event is really quite tough. In terms of searching the right companies for your bridal services, catering services, kompang services and etc etc etc....
Talking about our wedding events and suddenly i recalled on something. I was really saddened by our own malay community. Within those years of working in my organisation, i was assisting those people (parents) yang nak jual rumah cepat. Kenapa?? The answer is simple. Nak bayar duit majlis perkahwinan anak dorang yg $30k or $40k. Some shared their personal story and cried in front of me on how their anak treated them badly. They told me that dorang sedih yang anak dorang tak save duit kahwin and expect them to pay everything. Kesian kan? Some anak even promise once they get married, they will take care of them. End up.. the answer is Nope. They did not and kicked them out of their out their house. Why?? Because menantu tak boleh get along with their parents. Abeh think back mana dorang nak tinggal setelah kau buang dorang? Ade parents yang even dah bayar sini and sana last last tak jadi kahwin. Burn sey duit dorang. Duit retirement dorang tau. Those that i met advise me to save some money for my wedding event so that i can lessen the burden of my parents or future in law.
Let me say this. I and Ashila, we save our money $50k+ for our wedding in a separate bank. We saved our hard earn money for our own wedding. We paid our engagement event. I am very happy that my own widowed mother and my own future parents-in-law (Ashila's parent) very supportive of this idea and let us planned ourselves for our wedding event. I and Ashila went through a simple engagement because we are not like those typical yang nak show off their engagement event and make their own parents suffer for paying their event. Not forgetting their wedding events also their parents paying. I shall clap for you. Well done kid. If you think you can't afford for the big event then don't compromise it just because you want to show off to your friends. Buat ape berhutang and menyusah diri di kemudian hari?? Kesian kan lah ibu bapa kita. If your parents wants to sponsor you because you can't afford to a certain extend, let them sponsor, but at least respect them lah or remember their jasa after sponsoring it. Remember without them, you are not born in this world. They always want to do the best for you.
I and Ashila have own personal savings each, our insurance investment for retirement later, our own wedding saving account & future family account. We have more than the amount you see on top lah. If you think ni budak nak show off, i will show you my middle finger. Please think before you judge. Living cost in Singapore is not easy + medical cost is rising. Economy is not so good. Think carefully what i have said. You also have to think for your parents and their retirement funds. If you use their funds now, think back how they can survive down the road later. Are you ready to pay them if some things unforeseen were to happen in the future? If you depend on them, then they depend on who?
To those people that are reading my post, if you are the lucky ones that was sponsored by your parents previously, please bring them back home. Please take care of them. Don't let them live alone. Don't let them sleep elsewhere. They depended on you. Don't abuse them. The difference about our parents' generation is that they take care of their own parents while our generations, our parents take care of us. To my brothers & sisters, I am not a perfect person and i do have flaws. But there some things we can change and improved to be a better person.
To those young ones that have intention to get married, please start saving now. It is okay to start with small amount. Slowly dia akan jadi bukit. You can do it! I and Ashila pon gatal nak kahwin so we try to save our money. It is hard. It is never easy.
But at least save money lah and think for your future plan. I believe in financial freedom. I will try my very best to change the concept of my own people when every time i met them at my counter.
There are some things that i am happy with my current job. I managed to see people habis bayar flat dorang. I managed to change their concept of not loaning much and instead paying the flat faster. Even though your parents can loan up to 65 years old, think twice whether they can work till 65 years old and pay their flat. Some of malay families i met outside thanking me in front of my fiancee for planning their house matter. Honestly, i am happy that they fully pay their flat and start to think about their retirement plan. The truth is that I don't get anything out of this. It is good to see them moving to financial freedom. I even managed to change the concept of those young malay couple who wants to buy bigger flat due to pressured by their parents but can't afford to buy one. I encourage them to buy at least 3 room within their means so at least they can financially cope. I bumped them outside and thanked me. I feel being appreciated. It is good to start small. Don't be afraid to start small.
Lastly, stop blaming the government for not doing this or not doing that. I believed it is not easy to be in the government. They are also not perfect like us but i know they did try their very best to think for their citizens. After being a public officer, at times i felt that you guys are the one that created the mess and you blamed them for your mess. Interesting uh. Trust me, no one wants to accept this statement. I have watched the MP tv series show on channel 5 and you guys should watch. That is the truth guys, it not easy for them to please everyone. Regardless whoever is your MP is. I know they did try to help you with their sincerity. Begin life by feeling thankful and appreciate whatever it is ahead of you. If you think there is better way of improving the system, you should just approach them and share out your ideas rather than complaining. If things just don't go according to the plan, then think for alternatives. I know you guys will say we pay their taxes blah blah blah so they should find a solution for us. Rather than giving problems to them only, why not give them a solution so they can work on it better and help you to solve your problems. It takes two hands to clap.
Posted by: Hidayat Esa
An imperfect man who craves for success & chase big dreams. With determination to bring happiness to my family , her family & lastly her.
Cherishing the best moments in life.
Ashila’s Younger Sister.